Self portrait...

So kinda daunting at first.... mostly because I kept thinking of all the different ways that i could take it, you know as you do... dramatic funny etcetcetc... but pretty much realised I wanted to show as much about my life and who i am as i could but the Bottom line is Im not really sure who I am, thats not wierd right? Oh well I just dont who I am right now you know....I guess I'm not sure i ever will, Im learning and changing and becoming different everyday because of the people i meet and what they show me!!
so I figured showing something truthful and real about Me would be pretty difficult, But then everything i had been thinking was the self protrait, the way i change my mind all the time, create interesting situations for my self, almost like a rollercoaster! And yer i do think about what poeple think of me not in like a self obssessed way (well i hope not) more in a, what does that say about me and what do i come across as. Its nice to know that people think your funny, or sweet or pretty, so my first idea was to use what my friends say about me as my soudtrack to my Film, just basic thoughts im not going to be there when it records im just going to let them say what they want and then use it later on. They will hopefully show through their thoughts who I am, and hopefully Im going to get some interesting bits of information from them, to oppose the images i will show.
So I'm a theatre major too, By the way, I do a split equal degree at home, so im pretty dramatic, an actor i guess by trade so far, as thats mostly what ive done other than directing theatre, so when looking at a film I think about it dramatically, theartrically always about what the audience thinks. so my audience is the world and the people around me. Theres a really good quote about actors that i think pretty much sums me up, "actors have a perculiar quality of incompleteness, a kind of uncertainty or Vagueness, because he is in between...when an actor is not firm in his identity, he needs support and strength, instruction and guidance,"- William Ball. I can be unsure because I havent been dealt that character to play yet, I havent found who Im supposed to be. Does this make sense?
Anyways... So im going to use my friends thoughts as my soundtrack along with myself speaking that quote.
If my friends dont say what im expecting i will be really really shocked..... they will say what a bubbly friendly outgoing girl i am who doesnt care about what people say! (by the way its funny writing this for a whole class to read, cos it would be wierd saying this to my friends who i hang out with everyday. funny!! huh!!) but I know thats what they'll say, cos thats what I make people think, 'Im so confident I can take on the world, Im happy and funny and make everybody laugh cos im 'bubbly'..." The amount of times somebody has called me bubbly in my life kills me... what the hell does bubbly mean!!
Anyways the point of this mummbling is to explain that what people shows on the outside isnt always what they feel on the inside, and without getting to dramatic about life... people see me laughing and joking about stupid things normally ripping the piss out of myself... and think hey shes so happy, but I had issues just like everybody has and people dont know the history that people have, NOBODY knows!!! B can easily be hidden from what your truly feelingand will never know whats really going on. People can put up fences and fronts and pretend everythings ok!! so thats what im going to show! that You never know whats going on in somebodys head. and just cos i was always laughing and 'got over things' it wasnt all happy-go-lucky!!

Who knows what will come out of it but thats pretty much my rough outline of ideas!